Charlie Wears No Ties

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The Promise

Once upon a time... I prayed for an angel. The one who would be my best friend, who would take me for who I am and who would make me a better person. Some one I'll love and will love me in return. And after 24 years of waiting, He game me the Gift. He gave me Chard =)

On my birthday, Chard went to Laguna to pick me up. Our initial plan was just to have a simple dinner sa labas and coffee. pero dahil galing pa siya ng office sa manila at traffic sa SLEX late na siya dumating. So we just grab some bites sa bahay and went off to Manila.

On our way to manila, we dopped by Shell. Nagyaya siya mag coffee nalang.

Chard: Ano gagawin mo kung pinasara ko ang starbucks for a special occassion?
Wee: (Natatawa) "Hindi mo kaya un, for 2 reasons. 1.Wala tayong Budget at 2.Wala kang time".
Chard: Ang yabang mo naman. (natatawa). Malay mo! May nababangit ba ang mag friends mo? malay mo kinausap ko sila calai or ann.
Wee: Ngek! (Nag iisip na hindi talaga pwede un, dahil addik sa work si Ann. Alanganin din bumalik pang SLEX sila calai)

So pinark nya si Archie sa tapat ng 'PARKING AREA' sign. At kinulit nya ako na kailangan ko daw mag blind fold. Hindi ko naman magets kung bakit, pero he insisted. So while wearing the blind fold, pinapakingan ko kung anong ginagawa nya. He took something from the back. Naamoy ko na ung flowers na naklagay sa likod at naririnig ko ung kaluskos ng paper bag. He played something sa radio and it sounded familiar.

What day is it? And in what month?

This clock never seemed so alive

I can't keep up and I can't back down

I've been losing so much time

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do

Nothing to loseAnd it's you and me and all other people

And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

One of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right

I'm tripping on wordsYou've got my head spinning

I don't know where to go from here

Chard: Pakingan mo ung song, isipin mo ung first day na nagkita tayo. Yung day na nag kwentuhan tayo na parang matagal na tayong magkakilala. Yung mga happy moments natin together. I feel mo ung love. Now take off your blind fold.

"Happy Birthday Baby!"

He handed me the boquet of roses and the cake from starbucks :D He remembered how I liked giving cakes for birthdays and special occssions but seldom receive one for my own. heheheh. I already saw the flowers so alam ko na. :D Then he told me, "Hanapin mo ung gift ko". HUH?! I have no idea what was he talking about. At dahil nga hindi ko ma gets sinabi nya na nasa loob ng flowers. I looked in and found a card and a box. He normally says 'Will you marry me?' to his messages. Pero when I saw the box, parang naloka ako. I had to ask him more than 4 times kung seryoso siya. At nung nag sink in sa akin, I almost cried. My first answer was 'No! No! No!'. hahahaha. I know in my heart I wanted to marry him. he's the only one for me and i don't know what to do with out him. pero hindi ko sure kung NOW na! Actually, the answer was 'YES' pero hindi ko alam pano ang next move ko. I was scared and happy at the same time. :D We had some coffee and went back to manila. I told him, it's a technically 'YES'. heheheh...

On my birthday, I received a cake, a boquet of flowers and a promise. :)

A promise of love, life and *hopefully a diamond ring* hahahaha


The funny story continued on the 13th of December. Normally, chard stays at home on weekends. That morning, while having our normal breakfast, he officially asked permission from my parents. :) It's not too formal, pero he showed respect to them by having courage to tell them up front. Medjo hindi mapakali ung dad ko. He kept on going to the kitchen or the garage. Pero nun sinabi ko na 'Papa.., payag naaa?' *medjo lambing na maiiyak na tono*. He smiled and said 'Oo na nga e...' I hugged him and almost cried. The first man in my life is finally letting go of my hand. :)

And while most of my closest friends know of this story, i have yet to tell how I have officially said 'YES'. =P At the start of our relationship, I documented everything, I made a journal with entries for the whole year. Yep! whole year, as in everyday meron talaga. heheheh..Dapat ang ibibigay ko ay ung planner that he gave me on my 24th birthday, pero since good and bad yun nandun, I decided na gagawa nlng ako ng scrapbook filled with happy moments. Para whenever he's sad or when our kids grow up, we'd have something to look back. On our anniversary, I gave him the scrapbook.

It took him the whole day to finish the scrapbook and find the last envelop inside with the message that he wanted to hear since Dec 8.

I said YES, I will. THIS IS IT NA! :D

I LOVE YOU BABY!!!!

Quicksand

The more you struggle, the more you're sink in.

College Sweethearts

Yesterday, while browsing through the net, I stumbled upon a blog that really inspired me. =) I'm not really sure whether it was the old 80's pictures, or because I could relate to the places in the University where they met,or maybe her reason for having a boyfriend, or just the way she told their story that really caught me and made me 'kilig' all over.

But by the end of the story, all I could say was 'Aaaawwwww'. Hehehe...

I think people who found 'the one' for them at an early stage are so lucky. Kasi sa panahon ngayon, for us to know na 'siya na' at our early 20's is so un realistic. There are so many trials and test na pag dadaanan na might make or break the relationship, kahit pa sabihin mong kayo na nga ang tinadhana.

Now a days, it's easy to find someone to be with kung gusto mo lang talaga na may 'makasama'. But then again those who can wait for the right one - the one who'll make things work out. Those who could make the magic last longer, for me, are the luckiest.

The little girl in me is really really really shouting at the top of her lungs. " Dao Ming Zhe, Where are you?" hehehehe.

I hope 'he' could hear me from here.

You can check out her story Here

That's the way I love you

He is sensible and so incredible
And all my single friends are jealous
He says everything I need to hear and it's like
I couldn't ask for anything better
He opens up my door and I get into his car
And he says you look beautiful tonight
And I feel perfectly fine

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breakin' down and coming undone
It's a roller coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you

He respects my space and never makes me wait
And he calls exactly when he says he will
He's close to my mother, talks business with my father
He's charming and endearing and I'm comfortable

He can't see the smile I'm faking
And my heart's not breaking
Cause I'm not feeling anything at all
And you were wild and crazy
Just so frustrating intoxicating complicated
Got away by some mistake and now

And that's the way I loved you oh, oh
Never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you


More often we wished that HE would be perfect. He'd do those gentleman stuff we'd only see in the movies. Those straight and right things. Those honorable things. Be the responsible and dependable trophy guy/gal.

But admit or not, too much of the good stuff can drive you nuts. Too much planning bores me. Can't you just not plan everything, and for once try have something spontanous. He could surprise you. Look at you with those beautiful eyes and smile slyly or wink at you if he catch you staring. Dance crazy and act like kids while playing card games or chess. If only someone would really ask you to just dance in the middle of a parking lot or for no special reason other than he wants to hold you close for 15 minutes.

We wonder if he could only think like us and feel like us, he'd know better and we'd be so happy.
Then again, how can he? If you yourself have no idea what mood you are.

I'm really talking nonsense. I just feel extremely happy and sad. Yep, no middle. Just both ends.
I'd rather feel this crazy than to don't have any feelings at all.

The Hardest Thing and The Right Thing Could be the Same

Sometimes you have to realize that what you think you want isn't really what you want. But what you have is exactly what you need. That where you think you want to be is not the right place and where you are, where you ended up, its all for a reason - and you're exactly where you're supposed to be... at least for now.


and if you managed to follow that thought all the way through - congratulations, because i think i lost even myself in the middle of that....

-- From L

I guess most of us are really stuck in crossroads. We keep on waiting for some sort of sign all of our life. We always wish that if and only we would know what would happen after the "Happily ever after", we'd be better. But then again, where's the rush. The thrill of not knowing what will happen.

Who wouldn't want a perfect life in a perfect world. Problem is, we, as humans are designed to lean towards uncertainy and thrive for challenge that we don't always want what is right in front of us.

About Maturity

Maturity begins to grow when you can sense your concern for others outweighing your concern for yourself.

- John McNaughton

I do believe that when you start to stop nagging about why he's late, or having tantrums of why he can't call you every mintue, or if you stop pouting when he can't drive you all the way to your far far away home on weekends and when you rather he sleeps early than have a night out together. You stepped into that border line. Suddenly, your love has evolved in to a deeper and more mature level.

What Is Love?

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."

~ Woody Allen

How To's

How To Move On (even if you don't want to)
Cry your heart out and then find yourself a world where you could forget. Alienate yourself to everyone who would make you remember until everyone in your life is a stranger. Don't stop until you have become stranger to yourself as well.

How To Survive (just because you have to)
Slowly reacquaint yourself to your old friends, your old life, your old self. In time, you will be back to normal, with one person short, but still, normal.

How To Be Happy (Luffy Style)
Make yourself strong enough so you don't have to lose your nakama (i.e.friends, loved ones, lovers).

reposted from anne's

Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now?

'Destiny is when you exhaused all options and you still end up with the thing that you are running away from.'

We always have our definitions and expectations in life. Sometimes we set our standards too high that nobody (not even our baseline) would want to attempt to reach.

I pesonally would want to meet Mr. Right. The guy who would sweep me off my feet.

Someone who would be my hero but let me bully him every now and then.
Someone who isn't rich but is hardworking and ambitious enough to succeed with me.
Someone who can love me more than I could love him.

Simple really, but when you consider outside factors.. it's a bit more complicated than that.

You tend to look for someone tall, handsome, with killer smiles, sweet, caring, smart with degrees from a prestigous school, stable in life, funny and with good sense of humor, honest and one-woman-man, well loved by others. Someone who could be a trophy boy friend but a functional husband.

So you end up meeting someone who could fit parts of those criteria and hope you could fit the mold someday.
You end up going for Mr. Right Now.

Someone who is real but isn't perfect.
Someone who complements you in every way.
Someone who completes the void in your heart.

But can Mr. Right Now, be ever Mr. Right?

Hugs

Sometimes, all you need is a simple hug to tell someone that you care for him.

Sagittarius ( 18 Nov 07 )

The Bottom Line
Mulling over an intimidating idea for too long isn't wise. Do something spontaneous.

In Detail
If you think playing 'hard to get' is going to land you the apple of your eye, think again. There is far too much going on in their lives to notice someone who doesn't seem to notice them. If you really want to catch this person's eye, you either have to wait until their life calms down, or make the first move and let them know you'd like them to make time for you. Keep in mind that you might be getting a lot busier very soon. Is right now really a good time to get something new started?


I'm also starting to get confused, whether I would like to go further and take it as a challenge or would I just wait until he gets used to or bored with me. Not sure if making an effort to be part of his life would help me catch his attention. He's used to that. Maybe by not doing anything, I'd catch his attention more.

Either way, I'm starting to get used to all this sweetness and kilig feeling. I'm stating to become subjective in my decisions and biased on my opinions.

Maybe Ceej & Jhing were right. I should brace myself, I'm bound to get hurt.

Hold it

How do you know if you could feel something more?

Sagittarius (11 November 07)

The Bottom Line
Someone is desperately trying to get your attention. Slow down and let them do it.

In Detail
Today, when you suddenly feel an overwhelming affection for a person who you never even liked all that much, you will be awakened to the powerful force that is your compassion. Existing in a world with people who disagree with you is slowly but surely becoming something you can be comfortable with. The 'live and let live' philosophy rings true, and it can be liberating. Conflict can be a choice -- and it's one you don't have to make if you don't want to.


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I had the longest 2hr conversation with him. And if all his stories are true, i'd be really flattered and thankful for everything.

The nega part of me is screaming: "Just think it's too good to be true. Still waiting for the punch line in this joke."

A quarter and a half

They say that when you love, love with all your heart. Give as much and never ask anything in return.

Unconditional Love.

But when reality struck and crack you in between. All the bits and pieces, specs of dust and minor flaws seeps in.

It splits you apart.

In the end, you find yourself broken with parts missing or left behind with the person you have attached yourself into. Either in blocks or in residues.

How much part of you is left and can be fixed? How much damage can each blow cause? How many more trials can you withstand to truely give in or fight to win?

You can't look for your other half and expect to make a whole, if you can only offer a quarter of what is expected.

Always Someone Better

I always fancy myself as the type of person who's confidence level is above average. Most of the time I see the glass as Half Full, rather than Half Empty. In a way, I feel confident about myself. But whenever I have this level of confidence, most of the time, someone better comes into the picture. It's not just about blocking my view but more or less the type that pushes me on the sides, leaving me covered with borders and frame design. Get my point?

These kind of things make you review your self worth and status in your own field. Who would have wanted a second rate professional in every line of business? You wouldn't want to have the second best surgeon in the world to operate on your brain right? Mediocracy is something that shouldn't be delt with lightly.

Either way, I'm not left alone. There are still those people who were push beside me. Perhaps they're better than me, but no more shocked as me than when I was pushed behind.

I mean, I don't know about being the best BEST. I really have no say about that. Can't there be someone GOOD left on the sides to attend to those who couldn't afford the best BEST?

Just thinking out loud... Again! =)


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Repost from Snowwizard's Blog last 15Apr2007

Destiny

Destiny is when you exhaused all options and you still end up with the thing that you are running away from.

Letting go of your bananas

Day 30. For the past days, I've gotten to know this person more than I have known some of my friends since we have met. From what we have talked about, I really do think he is a very interesting person.

Let's see:

1.) Family - seems to be a mama's boy, because he talks alot about his mom most of the time ( and how he wants me to meet her.) Close to his family and their business. Father is in local politics and farm. =P He loves his dog very much.

2.) Work - 100% workaholic. He stayed at his first work for more than 4 years. On call & was moved up(litterally). He has already showed me where he is working (it's a nice gesture to share that info.) Note: Clean desk. Has plans to have his own business.

3.) Romance - previous relationship didn't last long. Issues were related to his 'other social life'. Have had relations with older, younger and of same age girls. Almost all were his girl before the 1st month ends. Now looking for someone to take him seriously. Or someone he could seriously be with. But when asked where is his ex, he has no idea.

Physically, he's not bad looking. He's got the aura of confidence that goes with the skin head and goatie. Rocker look that doesn't know how to jam. =P

Maturity level, deep thinker. He talks like he's already known me (the serious side) for ages. Trust me like I was his family member.

Style: he definitely has one, believe me. =P

So why am I analyzing this person? I don't know.

Maybe because he's interesting.
Maybe because he's cool & fun to be with.
Maybe because he makes me laugh.
Maybe because he calls me right before I decide to quit on him.
Maybe because he's the first person who ever gave that appreciation that I've long to receive from someone.

Maybe because I'm starting to like him.. I'm scared as hell to step into that line.
Coz, I know my limits and I know my side.

I know how to protect myself, from all the pain.
I know that when you put your heart out, it's bound to be wounded in one way or another.
I've been there and I've done that.
Now, I hold on to what is left.

He's been too nice and kind. But I'm not sure if it's true and real, coz nobody has ever been that to me. I'm flattered and very overwhelmed. All my life, it's been the other way around. I longged to be noticed and be 'the girl' and not the 'friend'. But this doesn't give me a reason to fall for the first person who bumped into me and said I was pretty and special. I'm not that desperate, nor am I that pathetic.

It's just that I wished so hard for someone to love me more than I could love him. If he's the one, then I wouldn't want him to just pass by without even knowing what if.

I hope that we could be better friends. So that when time comes and we don't end up being more than that, I could be that someone who made a mark in his life. Maybe helped him be a better person while I learned from the experience.


So how do I let go? I don't.

I just slide on with that banana peel, hope and pray that if I slip away.. someone will catch my fall.

Reading between the lines

When someone gave you your favorite chocolates, calls you 3 times a day and treats you like you're so special, does that mean he likes you?

When do you say that you like him to? Is it enought to say that he makes you smile and you feel good when he's around?

Our brain and heart are two totally different organs. They function separately.. but when you stimulate both at the same time.. would you rather fall into your intellectual analysis or should you just let go and go with the flow? enjoy the stimulant.

Ideally, I should be giving an objective perception on this matter. But given the circumstance, neither pigget or pavlov can induce me to think that it's just classical conditioning, that's causing this emotional battle... =)

Let's see, where we'll go.

something came up

Just when my target deadline for this so called project has finally arrived, and I was ready to move on with life, travel the world and hang around, something interesting came up...

He's like some weird character from a movie series.

The type that could cheer you up... after the rainy day.

And the same type that could twist your mind and heart...