Sagittarius ( 18 Nov 07 )

The Bottom Line
Mulling over an intimidating idea for too long isn't wise. Do something spontaneous.

In Detail
If you think playing 'hard to get' is going to land you the apple of your eye, think again. There is far too much going on in their lives to notice someone who doesn't seem to notice them. If you really want to catch this person's eye, you either have to wait until their life calms down, or make the first move and let them know you'd like them to make time for you. Keep in mind that you might be getting a lot busier very soon. Is right now really a good time to get something new started?


I'm also starting to get confused, whether I would like to go further and take it as a challenge or would I just wait until he gets used to or bored with me. Not sure if making an effort to be part of his life would help me catch his attention. He's used to that. Maybe by not doing anything, I'd catch his attention more.

Either way, I'm starting to get used to all this sweetness and kilig feeling. I'm stating to become subjective in my decisions and biased on my opinions.

Maybe Ceej & Jhing were right. I should brace myself, I'm bound to get hurt.

Hold it

How do you know if you could feel something more?

Sagittarius (11 November 07)

The Bottom Line
Someone is desperately trying to get your attention. Slow down and let them do it.

In Detail
Today, when you suddenly feel an overwhelming affection for a person who you never even liked all that much, you will be awakened to the powerful force that is your compassion. Existing in a world with people who disagree with you is slowly but surely becoming something you can be comfortable with. The 'live and let live' philosophy rings true, and it can be liberating. Conflict can be a choice -- and it's one you don't have to make if you don't want to.


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I had the longest 2hr conversation with him. And if all his stories are true, i'd be really flattered and thankful for everything.

The nega part of me is screaming: "Just think it's too good to be true. Still waiting for the punch line in this joke."

A quarter and a half

They say that when you love, love with all your heart. Give as much and never ask anything in return.

Unconditional Love.

But when reality struck and crack you in between. All the bits and pieces, specs of dust and minor flaws seeps in.

It splits you apart.

In the end, you find yourself broken with parts missing or left behind with the person you have attached yourself into. Either in blocks or in residues.

How much part of you is left and can be fixed? How much damage can each blow cause? How many more trials can you withstand to truely give in or fight to win?

You can't look for your other half and expect to make a whole, if you can only offer a quarter of what is expected.

Always Someone Better

I always fancy myself as the type of person who's confidence level is above average. Most of the time I see the glass as Half Full, rather than Half Empty. In a way, I feel confident about myself. But whenever I have this level of confidence, most of the time, someone better comes into the picture. It's not just about blocking my view but more or less the type that pushes me on the sides, leaving me covered with borders and frame design. Get my point?

These kind of things make you review your self worth and status in your own field. Who would have wanted a second rate professional in every line of business? You wouldn't want to have the second best surgeon in the world to operate on your brain right? Mediocracy is something that shouldn't be delt with lightly.

Either way, I'm not left alone. There are still those people who were push beside me. Perhaps they're better than me, but no more shocked as me than when I was pushed behind.

I mean, I don't know about being the best BEST. I really have no say about that. Can't there be someone GOOD left on the sides to attend to those who couldn't afford the best BEST?

Just thinking out loud... Again! =)


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Repost from Snowwizard's Blog last 15Apr2007

Destiny

Destiny is when you exhaused all options and you still end up with the thing that you are running away from.

Letting go of your bananas

Day 30. For the past days, I've gotten to know this person more than I have known some of my friends since we have met. From what we have talked about, I really do think he is a very interesting person.

Let's see:

1.) Family - seems to be a mama's boy, because he talks alot about his mom most of the time ( and how he wants me to meet her.) Close to his family and their business. Father is in local politics and farm. =P He loves his dog very much.

2.) Work - 100% workaholic. He stayed at his first work for more than 4 years. On call & was moved up(litterally). He has already showed me where he is working (it's a nice gesture to share that info.) Note: Clean desk. Has plans to have his own business.

3.) Romance - previous relationship didn't last long. Issues were related to his 'other social life'. Have had relations with older, younger and of same age girls. Almost all were his girl before the 1st month ends. Now looking for someone to take him seriously. Or someone he could seriously be with. But when asked where is his ex, he has no idea.

Physically, he's not bad looking. He's got the aura of confidence that goes with the skin head and goatie. Rocker look that doesn't know how to jam. =P

Maturity level, deep thinker. He talks like he's already known me (the serious side) for ages. Trust me like I was his family member.

Style: he definitely has one, believe me. =P

So why am I analyzing this person? I don't know.

Maybe because he's interesting.
Maybe because he's cool & fun to be with.
Maybe because he makes me laugh.
Maybe because he calls me right before I decide to quit on him.
Maybe because he's the first person who ever gave that appreciation that I've long to receive from someone.

Maybe because I'm starting to like him.. I'm scared as hell to step into that line.
Coz, I know my limits and I know my side.

I know how to protect myself, from all the pain.
I know that when you put your heart out, it's bound to be wounded in one way or another.
I've been there and I've done that.
Now, I hold on to what is left.

He's been too nice and kind. But I'm not sure if it's true and real, coz nobody has ever been that to me. I'm flattered and very overwhelmed. All my life, it's been the other way around. I longged to be noticed and be 'the girl' and not the 'friend'. But this doesn't give me a reason to fall for the first person who bumped into me and said I was pretty and special. I'm not that desperate, nor am I that pathetic.

It's just that I wished so hard for someone to love me more than I could love him. If he's the one, then I wouldn't want him to just pass by without even knowing what if.

I hope that we could be better friends. So that when time comes and we don't end up being more than that, I could be that someone who made a mark in his life. Maybe helped him be a better person while I learned from the experience.


So how do I let go? I don't.

I just slide on with that banana peel, hope and pray that if I slip away.. someone will catch my fall.