Sunday, December 16, 2007

Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now?

'Destiny is when you exhaused all options and you still end up with the thing that you are running away from.'

We always have our definitions and expectations in life. Sometimes we set our standards too high that nobody (not even our baseline) would want to attempt to reach.

I pesonally would want to meet Mr. Right. The guy who would sweep me off my feet.

Someone who would be my hero but let me bully him every now and then.
Someone who isn't rich but is hardworking and ambitious enough to succeed with me.
Someone who can love me more than I could love him.

Simple really, but when you consider outside factors.. it's a bit more complicated than that.

You tend to look for someone tall, handsome, with killer smiles, sweet, caring, smart with degrees from a prestigous school, stable in life, funny and with good sense of humor, honest and one-woman-man, well loved by others. Someone who could be a trophy boy friend but a functional husband.

So you end up meeting someone who could fit parts of those criteria and hope you could fit the mold someday.
You end up going for Mr. Right Now.

Someone who is real but isn't perfect.
Someone who complements you in every way.
Someone who completes the void in your heart.

But can Mr. Right Now, be ever Mr. Right?

Thursday, December 6, 2007


Sometimes, all you need is a simple hug to tell someone that you care for him.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Sagittarius ( 18 Nov 07 )

The Bottom Line
Mulling over an intimidating idea for too long isn't wise. Do something spontaneous.

In Detail
If you think playing 'hard to get' is going to land you the apple of your eye, think again. There is far too much going on in their lives to notice someone who doesn't seem to notice them. If you really want to catch this person's eye, you either have to wait until their life calms down, or make the first move and let them know you'd like them to make time for you. Keep in mind that you might be getting a lot busier very soon. Is right now really a good time to get something new started?

I'm also starting to get confused, whether I would like to go further and take it as a challenge or would I just wait until he gets used to or bored with me. Not sure if making an effort to be part of his life would help me catch his attention. He's used to that. Maybe by not doing anything, I'd catch his attention more.

Either way, I'm starting to get used to all this sweetness and kilig feeling. I'm stating to become subjective in my decisions and biased on my opinions.

Maybe Ceej & Jhing were right. I should brace myself, I'm bound to get hurt.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Hold it

How do you know if you could feel something more?

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Sagittarius (11 November 07)

The Bottom Line
Someone is desperately trying to get your attention. Slow down and let them do it.

In Detail
Today, when you suddenly feel an overwhelming affection for a person who you never even liked all that much, you will be awakened to the powerful force that is your compassion. Existing in a world with people who disagree with you is slowly but surely becoming something you can be comfortable with. The 'live and let live' philosophy rings true, and it can be liberating. Conflict can be a choice -- and it's one you don't have to make if you don't want to.


I had the longest 2hr conversation with him. And if all his stories are true, i'd be really flattered and thankful for everything.

The nega part of me is screaming: "Just think it's too good to be true. Still waiting for the punch line in this joke."

A quarter and a half

They say that when you love, love with all your heart. Give as much and never ask anything in return.

Unconditional Love.

But when reality struck and crack you in between. All the bits and pieces, specs of dust and minor flaws seeps in.

It splits you apart.

In the end, you find yourself broken with parts missing or left behind with the person you have attached yourself into. Either in blocks or in residues.

How much part of you is left and can be fixed? How much damage can each blow cause? How many more trials can you withstand to truely give in or fight to win?

You can't look for your other half and expect to make a whole, if you can only offer a quarter of what is expected.

Always Someone Better

I always fancy myself as the type of person who's confidence level is above average. Most of the time I see the glass as Half Full, rather than Half Empty. In a way, I feel confident about myself. But whenever I have this level of confidence, most of the time, someone better comes into the picture. It's not just about blocking my view but more or less the type that pushes me on the sides, leaving me covered with borders and frame design. Get my point?

These kind of things make you review your self worth and status in your own field. Who would have wanted a second rate professional in every line of business? You wouldn't want to have the second best surgeon in the world to operate on your brain right? Mediocracy is something that shouldn't be delt with lightly.

Either way, I'm not left alone. There are still those people who were push beside me. Perhaps they're better than me, but no more shocked as me than when I was pushed behind.

I mean, I don't know about being the best BEST. I really have no say about that. Can't there be someone GOOD left on the sides to attend to those who couldn't afford the best BEST?

Just thinking out loud... Again! =)


Repost from Snowwizard's Blog last 15Apr2007


Destiny is when you exhaused all options and you still end up with the thing that you are running away from.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Letting go of your bananas

Day 30. For the past days, I've gotten to know this person more than I have known some of my friends since we have met. From what we have talked about, I really do think he is a very interesting person.

Let's see:

1.) Family - seems to be a mama's boy, because he talks alot about his mom most of the time ( and how he wants me to meet her.) Close to his family and their business. Father is in local politics and farm. =P He loves his dog very much.

2.) Work - 100% workaholic. He stayed at his first work for more than 4 years. On call & was moved up(litterally). He has already showed me where he is working (it's a nice gesture to share that info.) Note: Clean desk. Has plans to have his own business.

3.) Romance - previous relationship didn't last long. Issues were related to his 'other social life'. Have had relations with older, younger and of same age girls. Almost all were his girl before the 1st month ends. Now looking for someone to take him seriously. Or someone he could seriously be with. But when asked where is his ex, he has no idea.

Physically, he's not bad looking. He's got the aura of confidence that goes with the skin head and goatie. Rocker look that doesn't know how to jam. =P

Maturity level, deep thinker. He talks like he's already known me (the serious side) for ages. Trust me like I was his family member.

Style: he definitely has one, believe me. =P

So why am I analyzing this person? I don't know.

Maybe because he's interesting.
Maybe because he's cool & fun to be with.
Maybe because he makes me laugh.
Maybe because he calls me right before I decide to quit on him.
Maybe because he's the first person who ever gave that appreciation that I've long to receive from someone.

Maybe because I'm starting to like him.. I'm scared as hell to step into that line.
Coz, I know my limits and I know my side.

I know how to protect myself, from all the pain.
I know that when you put your heart out, it's bound to be wounded in one way or another.
I've been there and I've done that.
Now, I hold on to what is left.

He's been too nice and kind. But I'm not sure if it's true and real, coz nobody has ever been that to me. I'm flattered and very overwhelmed. All my life, it's been the other way around. I longged to be noticed and be 'the girl' and not the 'friend'. But this doesn't give me a reason to fall for the first person who bumped into me and said I was pretty and special. I'm not that desperate, nor am I that pathetic.

It's just that I wished so hard for someone to love me more than I could love him. If he's the one, then I wouldn't want him to just pass by without even knowing what if.

I hope that we could be better friends. So that when time comes and we don't end up being more than that, I could be that someone who made a mark in his life. Maybe helped him be a better person while I learned from the experience.

So how do I let go? I don't.

I just slide on with that banana peel, hope and pray that if I slip away.. someone will catch my fall.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Reading between the lines

When someone gave you your favorite chocolates, calls you 3 times a day and treats you like you're so special, does that mean he likes you?

When do you say that you like him to? Is it enought to say that he makes you smile and you feel good when he's around?

Our brain and heart are two totally different organs. They function separately.. but when you stimulate both at the same time.. would you rather fall into your intellectual analysis or should you just let go and go with the flow? enjoy the stimulant.

Ideally, I should be giving an objective perception on this matter. But given the circumstance, neither pigget or pavlov can induce me to think that it's just classical conditioning, that's causing this emotional battle... =)

Let's see, where we'll go.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

something came up

Just when my target deadline for this so called project has finally arrived, and I was ready to move on with life, travel the world and hang around, something interesting came up...

He's like some weird character from a movie series.

The type that could cheer you up... after the rainy day.

And the same type that could twist your mind and heart...

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

For those with broken heart..

Give yourself time to heal.

It's hard to forgive and forget when the person who hurt you is the same person you loved for so long. You love and die at same time. The agony of loving someone that rips your heart in million pieces.

Just remember: It's better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all!
Maybe God have bigger plans =P He's still sorting out the list, and figuring out the best for you. =)

Now that it’s all said and done,
I can’t believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should’ve started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I’d doubt you,
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I’m slowly getting closure.
I guess it’s really over.
I’m finally getting better.
And now I’m picking up the pieces.
I’m spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should’ve started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I’d doubt you,
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I’m slowly getting closure.
I guess it’s really over.
I’m finally getting better.
And now I’m picking up the pieces.
I’m spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through,
I got over you.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should’ve started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I’d doubt you,
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should’ve started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I’d doubt you,
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I’m slowly getting closure.
I guess it’s really over.
I’m finally getting better.
And now I’m picking up the pieces.
I’m spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I’m putting my heart back together,
‘Cause I got over you.

Well I got over you.
I got over you.

‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through,
I got over you.

Saturday, July 7, 2007

One afternoon...

The sound of the church bells rings throughout the hill, as the wooden door was opened wide. People lined up on the sides as they start to cheer for the couple who wore the brightest smiles.

He, with his funny looking tux and bow, still with that boyish look in his face, all perked up as he held the most precious gift God has given him.

She, with her long trailing veil and a bouquet of orange roses, flushed with admiration and chilled with excitement as she lend her arm to her groom.

Neither could care less about their surrounding.The garlands seemed to float, the flower petals fragant the air, the rice grains and confetti descended and shower them as they walked out of the chapel holding hands towards the path that leads them to the other side of life. Their future.

Another fairy tale wedding, if only I was she...


When I started this project, my main goal was to figure out why other people still stay in a relationship even when they are miserable and broken. But to do that, I have to find someone good enough to be 'my special friend' and help me figure things out.Be a participant, not an observer.

In the process, some of my friends and office mates helped out. Most of them have their share of candidates and recommendations. Their bets and entries to this madness.

So I did entertain them, hoping that within one month I'd find someone.
In the end, one stood me up. The other gave me the creeps. Some, have no time for me.
(more entries about these encounters -- this is fun!)

Although I never had that short term relationship, I learned alot about dating and finding the one.

Realizaion No#1: It's really not them, It's me.

I have put a high price on Love and Relationship. So high, that shrek's happily ever after would pale in comparison.

One of my friends said, "Baka naman asawa ang hanap mo!"

Well, my rebutal to that remark would be a nice miss universe answer at the moment. "I really believe that in a relationship, You just don't pick someone for the sake of having somebody. You find someone whom you could see yourself with in the future." What's the point of wasting your 2yrs, 5yrs, or 10yrs with someone who you don't intend to end up with? Plus it would really be unfair for the other person, if s/he is expecting you to join him/her at the finish line.

But a simple, "E di nag hanap nalang sana ako ng bato - panghilod,pambato sa kaaway at pangpukpok sa ulo, kung asawa ang hanap ko", would shut them up.

I might be hopeless, or you could call me stupid. But I do believe that there are still more out there. I don't have to settle to the first person who bumped into me just because I'm already 23, still single and No Boy Friend Since Birth. (I'd consider that 10yrs after, but not right now.)

Finding the right one is not easy. That could be one of the reason's why other people still seem to hold on to relationships. We always seem to hope and think that this person whom we shared so many special moments and precious events is the one. So we either mold them to what we want him/her to be Or we bend and fold to their every wish and dream. We always fear that he/she mght be the one that got away. =P

But relationship is far more complex that finding the right owner of that glass slipper. You have to deal with the person that comes along with that fitting shoe. So I guess my beliefs aren't as applicable as it is probable. Nevertheless, there's no harm in figuring out who you want to be with in the future before facing the future with someone you haven't figure out. hehehe..

This month I'll be attending weddings. One of it is my "childhood love team's" wedding.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Dating 101

This post is only a reflection of what the author has experienced when it comes to 'DATING'.

1. Research on the person you're going to meet. At least have an idea how he/she looks like, it helps that you're not worrying that he looks like "palito" or "babalu". Know his/her likes and dislikes,so you will have something to talk about.

2. Do not expect so much from the person. Do not expect a classy resto, a car, a gentleman gesture, deep conversation, or who will be paying for the night.

3. There is no reason for you to be rude. You have to sit through the whole date, even if you want to go home and cry.

I have had it with dating! Maybe it's just me, I have set too high standards. Or it's really not the right time.

Hehehe... either way! I'm quitting!
End of June!

Gotta find someone who will put this project into motion. hehehe.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Monday Rush

Every Monday, around Six o'clock in the morning my DAD drops me off the bus station. There, I wait for the ALABANG - SKYWAY-LAWTON bus to stop and pick up Monday morning rushers. All of us eager to get on the earliest bus to arrive.

While most of us realize that it's still 6am, and we still have a maximum of 2hrs and 30mins to get to Makati or manila, we still fight for that last seat or that empty place in the middle of the bus. Somehow, the timing REALLY is a big deal. I've had experiences where a 5mins difference in departure means 30mins in the real URBAN world. But that's if the bus driver is a road maniac or has had too much coffee for breakfast.

It just amazes me how people rush to get on a bus even if it's already jam packed. They know for sure that there will come another bus, spacious and accommodating enough for all. There wouldn't be any harassments, torture and mental torment. Only catch is you'll have to wait for a minimum of 10mins or worst 1hrs. It could have been better; it's just the waiting part that sucks! Why do the perfect BUS arrives 30 minutes late. Not as if you couldn't wait any longer. It's the idea of uncertainty and the thought of having been left alone - Thinking, you could have gone with the first 3 full bus - that is killing the rushers and making them choose to suffer sudden pain than indefinite agony.

Personally, I think I have longer patience. I think I can wait longer. I just keep asking myself why do I have to rush, when there's nothing too urgent to do. I would definitely arrive earlier than those who live next to the place I'm going. Nobody is pushing me, but myself. RELAX a bit.

Plus, I just have to keep in mind that the more I adjust time backwards to give allowance, the more time I waste waiting. It's really not just a matter of who's early but a matter of timing as well. Why do you have to be early, if you know you couldn't catch the PERFECT bus? Why not arrive in time for the perfect bus?

Every time I wait for that bus I wonder...

In life, do we wait for the PERFECT BUS to arrive or are we too afraid of the uncertainty that we'll hop onto the first trip regardless whether that bus will have stop over or might not journey on to our final destination?

For now, I find it difficult to know if I had chosen the right bus.. Of course I would have been half asleep to notice.

REPOST FROM SNOWWIZARD, a person who's single and still believe that true love comes in a perfect timing. =)

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Why We Love

I believe in LOVE. But I'm NOT IN LOVE.
I'm single but I'm not looking.
I'm a Hopeless Romantic, but I'm a Rational Pessimist.
I'm not committed but I have commitments.

For the longest time, I have been wanting to write something about the thing that occupies 90% of each person's life. The thing that - as they say - makes the world go around. The gravity that pulls one to another. Deeper than attraction. Better than chemistry.


I'm not a mushy sentimental person, but I do believe in it. In everything that it can do to a person, to one's life and perception.

All my life, I have been living and breathing the wonders and joys of SINGLEHOOD. It's really fun and all, specially when I think about those who are in a 'miserable' state of relationship, unrequited love, or the third party tangled between soulmates. Reaction of each individual towards the relationship is unique and very interesting. It made me wonder.. Am I missing something? Maybe.. just maybe there's more to what the superficial words, written poems or mellow tunes. There's got to be something more.

Maybe it's true that there's a big difference between an observer and a participant. Someone who has experienced the trills and turmoils of being in love and commiting to a relationship.

Hence, from here on.. I pledge to dig deep.
Analyze. Scrutinize. Explore.

Why we love?